Two sisters, Marla and Krissy, were two of Dave’s oldest and closest friends so we weren’t one bit surprised with their creativity in remembering Dave in their own way. They had asked for a supply of Dave’s cards from his memorial service.We’ve since found out why. Both young ladies recently got married and decided to bring “Dave” with them on their honeymoons; a thought I’m sure that would make Dave smile.

As Marla said, “I am assuming you took a look at some of the pics that I took when I was on my honeymoon where I had pinned up Dave’s card in the prettiest spots I could find. I would set him up in a spot where I thought he would really enjoy the view.

The first set of pics in the one where he’s in a tree, facing crystal clear water. That was in St. John’s Caneel Bay.

The second set was when we were headed to our next destination. We were on ferry and the mountains and water were gorgeous. I let the card go into the wind, almost slicing some guys head off. That card whipped right out of my hands so hard and just missed this guy’s face. I had a good laugh.

The third set of pics…where the rocks are grayish and formed, was a placed called Devil’s Bay, British Virgin Gorda. We took a taxi out to this one spot on the opposite side of the island…not too big of an island. We had to hike through the caves and caverns…had NO CLUE where we were going. Sort of scary, actually. The water was crashing into the caves and we were trying to make our way out to this clearing. When we hit it, it was so cool. I pinned Dave up in a plant facing the rock formations and the ocean. Many yachts had stopped there. People were drinking and eating on their boats…many were snorkeling. It was a hidden treasure.

I know Dave liked it.

Also, I have to get a few pics to you that Krissy and I took of his card at The Botanical Gardens in Brooklyn. Krissy and I knew it was a place Dave would’ve liked. We found a hollowed out tree stump and placed him there in the midst of trees and plants and wildlife.

Also, Krissy placed his card in Monet’s Garden in Paris.

We plan on taking him with us wherever we go!

“We know how he loved to try new things and check out new places.”

Click for More Pictures

Joanna reached out to our family almost five months ago to send us her heartfelt condolences. Dave had often been in her thoughts since the horrible day of his death.

You see, Joanna was also one of the hikers that day.

After reading the poems on Dave’s website and all of the stories written about him, she felt quite connected to the person Dave was shown to be. At that time, she said, I had a chance only to begin to get to know Dave, but it was immediately clear to me that he was a special soul.

She further shared the thoughts she had immediately after Dave’s death. I had barely even exchanged words with Dave. Nonetheless, even from our few interactions, it was immediately clear to me that he radiated a rare kindness and integrity, that quiet depths lay behind his upbeat smile, and that he was profoundly happy to be out in the deserts of southern Utah. I distinctly remember the word chivalrous popping up in my head that first afternoon as I watched him helping other people on our course, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for him to do. I was looking forward to getting to know him.

We shared with Joanna our belief that Dave surrounds us everyday and gives us strength to help us accept his loss. There are signs everywhere; we just need to be observant to them. This is very comforting to us. I’m sure that is why she shared with us some special moments when I thought strongly of Dave.

This is part of the message from postcards we received from Joanna last month: 

A few weeks after my trip to New York, I went to the Philippines for work. One morning I was sitting on the stoop outside my little hotel enjoying the trees and garden in the midst of crazy Manila, and a single, gorgeous butterfly flew by. That particular butterfly made me think of Dave, and I watched it fly, contemplating how indeed, these little creatures are messengers from a spirit world beyond our own. Everything about them suggest it. I had dinner that night with a lovely Filipino friend of mine, and somehow we got on the subject of butterflies. He proceeded to tell me about one specific kind of butterfly a “large, yellow and black” and described the one I had seen that morning. He said, “Here in the Philippines we believe those butterflies are messengers of loved ones who have passed.” I was so delighted to learn that, and wanted to share that with you! My friend also told me that his dad died when he was 12, and that he and his family had had many strange and wonderful encounters with butterflies after his death, and still today. (I should point out that our family and many of Dave’s friends have had numerous butterfly encounters, a fact which I shared with Joanna. We will share these with you with another posting.)

Joanna continued, My last afternoon in Kyoto, I visited an old temple at the edge of the city, surrounded by gardens. It was heartbreakingly beautiful, so peaceful. As I was walking away after if closed, I noticed a little side street with a footpath leading up wooded hills at the edge of the old little neighborhood. I felt drawn to follow it, and found it led to a small shrine, housed in a wood pagoda. The pagoda had an old beam across the top, with hundreds of little strips of paper tied to it, with handwritten notes in Japanese, from people who had come here before me, with thoughts and prayers for worlds beyond ours. There was a little wooden shelf with blank slips of paper, red ribbon, and an old fashioned pen.

I wrote for Dave on a single sheet, and tied it with the rest to the rafter above me. I stood there a few moments in silence, rang the bell on the shrine to help my message arrive at its destination and went back down the footpath.

Thank you so very much, Joanna, for remembering Dave in such a wonderful way. And, although you may not have known Dave for very long, it is clear from your words and your actions that he had an impact on your life. As his mother, you can only imagine how much this has touched me.

Todd has been friends with Dave since middle school days. They had so many stories to laugh about; I’m sure many of which their parents weren’t privy to knowing. They were the best of friends right till the end. When Cari met Todd, she, too, became a new best friend and shared in all their fun times. They were both devastated when they heard the news of Dave’s death. When they planned a recent trip to Colorado; a place they had hoped to travel with Dave, they asked if they could take some of his ashes. They wanted to spread them at the Continental Divide.

The Record recently ran an article about Dave. This is Cari’s quote as to the reason they chose this spot as another of Dave’s special places:

Two of Dave’s close friends, Todd and Cari Dages of West Milford, took his ashes to the Continental Divide near Breckenridge, Colo. “At the top, if you pour a glass of water, whatever goes off the east side will eventually make it to the Atlantic Ocean, and whatever goes to the west will go over to the Pacific Ocean,” said Cari Dages, 31. “So we scattered his ashes directly on top, allowing Dave to go east, west and anywhere that he wanted to be, since he wanted to travel and experience all parts of life.”

Thank you, Todd and Cari, for remembering Dave is such a special way!

Click for More Pictures

Dave’s last contract took him to the Marshall Islands in the South Pacific. He spoke so kindly of the native people of the islands and the friends he made in the Police Dept. Shortly after his death, his friends on the base presented the family with a wonderful shadow box of Dave’s achievements. (Click on the badge on opening page of website) During his one year contract, Dave touched many lives. They in turn touched our hearts.

When I reached out to see if someone from Kwajalein Police Dept. would spread Dave’s ashes in Roi Namur, there was no hesitation. Sandy H immediately agreed to do this for us. So I shipped her a small wooden trinket box with some of Dave’s ashes. I only asked that she send me a picture so I could share another of Dave’s resting places with friends and family.

Not only did she do this for us, but I was so touched when I received the trinket box in the mail with the picture on the box that we posted with this message. The box contained some sand taken from the beach in Roi Namur, along with a handful of very fragile shells—all of which arrived unbroken!! Needless to say, I smiled through my tears!

Here is the e-mail that accompanied the pictures:

Attached are the pictures taken this past weekend. I flew up to Roi and Joe C. and John L., friends of Dave’s, help spread his ashes. Jeff B. and Kelly F. helped by taking pictures. It was a beautiful day. Joe choose a point at the end of the runway. This was a place that Dave liked to fish. Picture #001 shows this point in the distance. We then went out on the police boat and spread his ashes in the lagoon.

I am glad we were able to do this for your family.

Sandy

Click for More Pictures

We all know that Dave loved to travel. He was always looking toward new horizons and wanting to experience the world. So when Dave was cremated, we made a promise to bring a little bit of Dave wherever we travelled and sprinkle his ashes in places that we knew Dave would love. As we planned our Jamaica trip over Thanksgiving, I hoped we would find just the right spot that would suit Dave.

On the second day of the trip, we headed out on a catamaran for snorkeling and a picnic lunch on a nearby island. We brought along Dave’s ashes—just in case.

As we waded ashore, my niece said, Aunt Pat, look over there! Tears instantly welled up as I saw a hammock at the water’s edge between two trees in a cove. There was an archway in front of the hammock covered with tropical flowers. We all knew that THIS was the PERFECT spot for Dave.

Anyone who remembers Dave’s stories from the Marshall Islands knows that he put up a hammock in such a location so he could enjoy reading or just pondering life in such awesome surroundings.

We spread some of his ashes over the rocks and coral under the hammock, said a few words, shed some tears, and added a sprinkling of Red Stripe beer for good measure a touch we’re sure Dave appreciated. Some of us took turns relaxing in the hammock pondering life, just as Dave had done so often. The rest of the afternoon was spent with his whole family quietly enjoying such a perfect spot while taking note of the beautiful butterflies visiting the cove.

There were so many sides of Dave. One final resting place would simply not be enough.

So, Dave rests in Pine Bush, NY in the camping surroundings he so loved and now at Half Moon Bay, Green Island, Jamaica overlooking the surf that also brought Dave such peace and solitude.

As Dave wrote to me in an e-mail, I’m just glad that I have the opportunity to sort my life out while sitting on a beautiful desolate beach. I feel it is necessary to remind me of what’s important.