A short time after my husband was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s) disease, Dave told me he had written something for me and would e-mail it to me. He insisted that I be 100% honest with my opinion. To help understand the poem, I should mention that Dave was aware that my pregnancy with him was during a very emotional and tumultuous time in our lives and just six months after his birth, I was a single parent. This is his introduction to the poem:
“OK ma, there it is. Do try and give a rigid critique. Tell me how it made you feel and what kind of tale it told. Tell me where you think its origin is, and how it applies to the present.
I realize that it’s a bit obscure, that’s why I want to know if it still manages to speak to you. Keep in mind that if it’s lacking somewhere I’d like to know. Your candor won’t hurt my feelings. Thanks. Hang in there.
Love, Dave”
“Physical Empathy”
Awakened by in utero despair.
The tremble of self-doubt dances down a virgin spine.
Incessant tears, recessant hopes; I know not yet the
reality of my world – but anguish whispers.
Defeat.
The shared introspect woefully contemplated, but vehemently resisted.
Bitter trepidation of threatened dreams spawn the pulse of maternal intensity.
Resolve.
The resilient struggle to the murky surface. Virtue personified through the unwavering spirit; born of courage, and sustained by superlative love.
Victory.
Clarity in character imparted; a stronger man walks away…he will
never forget.
****
Here was my interpretation:
Hi Dave,
This is really quite deep and very good. I think I know what you are saying, but I don’t think the average Joe could understand it.
My interpretation is: Before you were born you sensed a feeling of
sadness and defeat in me, but my determination as a mother had to put
it aside to move ahead. You, as you became a man, could appreciate
this and learn from it and, in turn, make you a stronger person as
well. (I’m not sure of what you meant by the underlined part.)
How it affects now? I’ve got to “pull up my bootstraps” and get
through this NEW major event in my life.
Am I way off base?
Thanks for taking the time to write it for me. It was very thoughtful.
Love,
Ma
RTLV
And finally, here is Dave’s response:
Hey ma. The underlined portion was in reference to the “Defeat” preceeding it. The shared introspect (of defeat) woefully contemplated, but vehemently resisted …meaning, although you must have experienced feelings of defeat, you didn’t submit to them. Instead, you “vehemently resisted” any question of defeat and triumphed (personally, and in regard to your children).
Now, this situation is obviously very different since your actions cannot defuse the problem. I intended my poem to remind you to look inward for that same strength in expectation that you will endure. Not a stoic type of strength, but the wisdom to put your life back into the necessary perspective to live YOUR life.
So there ya go. I’m glad ya liked the poem. Talk to ya soon. Love, Dave
***********
I now read these words and try very desperately “to look inward” for the strength Dave would want me to have and hope he’s being patient with me because this is the test of all time!!! I want to make him proud!!!