It was a beautiful sunny May morning as Pat, Rob, Bob and myself hiked the path up to the top of the Peterskill crag. Our destination was to bring us to the spot where almost 5 years ago I stood with Dave and took his picture for a photo op.
Our purpose was to spread Dave’s ashes in a special place, and a special day that we had shared with him. Our memory of that climbing day with Dave is one that will stay with me forever. The pictures that flow in my mind are of Bob explaining to Dave the set-up of the climb. How bomber the system is and the reasons that Dave could trust that he would be kept safe. While Bob was finishing the set-up, Dave and I walked up a ways to one of my favorite places. It is a huge overhanging roof that gives a beautiful view of the Shawangunks This, I explained to Dave, is my favorite place, and I just had to take his picture there. There he was in his boony hat looking back at me smiling his beautiful Dave smile. The rest of the day was filled with watching Dave meet challenge after challenge as we kept bumping up the climbs. He was tenacious, as he attacked each one, determined to kick its butt, even though we kept telling him that there was no failure in rock climbing. While Bob would go to change the climbs, Dave and I would stay down below talking about everything. One minute we would be talking seriously about family concerns, and the next minute we would be howling like a couple of idiots about something ridiculously funny. Who in their wildest dreams would imagine that today we would be where we are? Today, as we reached the spot, we set our packs down under a tree. Within a few minutes a beautiful swallowtail butterfly, swooped down past Pat, and swirled around the top of Bob and Rob’s head as they sat at the edge of the cliff. We all reacted with joy. We just had a fly-by!
This is the hard part for me to communicate. The ache I feel in my heart, I believe that here are no mere words that can describe it. As Bob and I spread Dave’s ashes, I was struck with the incredible honor I felt to be doing this. I was humbled beyond belief and knew in my heart that I was right where I was supposed to be.
Afterwards, we sat at the top, and had a lunch, in honor of Dave, his favorite. Chik-fil-A
Then we moved on to meet the next challenge, to get Pat on a climb. As we hiked around to the bottom of the crag, she joked about going on the Bunny Rock. Bob laughed and told her that all those times in their childhood with her as the Big Sister now demanded pay back!
Sometimes when you are hidden behind the lens of a camera, you can have the privilege of feeling like a fly on the wall, or feel removed from the situation and become an observer. I watched Pat put on a climbing harness, and saw the uncertainty in her eyes as Bob went through a ground school and taught her climbing basics. This was a woman going way beyond her comfort zone, and doing it for the whole purpose of honoring her son. I saw her putting her life in the hands of Bob and Rob, who did the belaying of his Mom. I saw Rob struggle with the knowledge that he was responsible for his mother’s safety. But what happened next was incredible. Pat attacked the cliff with the same tenacity that Dave did¦determined to finish and reach the summit. When she reached the top, another butterfly celebrated her achievement! I could feel Dave all around us, and knew that he was incredibly proud of his ma! Later on when Rob and Bob were breaking down the climb, they had another butterfly encounter. Only 3 that day, all at very special moments.
Last night I watched Pat on CNN with Rick Sanchez doing the live interview at 11:25 p.m. When she talked about BOSS and the impact phase, I knew that I couldn’t write this without communicating to all of you who loved Dave, my beliefs. It is very apparent that all of us, who love Dave, are experiencing a true impact phase. The impact that his life and death has had on all of us and the transformations that have taken place in all of our hearts in an ongoing way. As I watch Pat struggle with her grief, and still be able to have the grace, strength and composure to fight for what is right, I am affected. When I hear our family talk about the many Dave stories we have, or when one of our butterfly miracles touch us, I am affected. When I read the forum on Dave’s site, and all the letters that friends, family and strangers write, I am impacted.
To be able to live the life that Dave did and still continue to touch everyone’s heart ¦now that is Purpose.
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